Raw & real
Losing a Furry Family Member
This is a raw one for me having just said goodbye to my pal of 11.5 years last month. People who have never had dogs or pets for that matter, probably won't understand this post, but I urge you to stick with it. When you welcome a pet into your home, they truly become a part of the family. You encounter ups and downs together - whether it be behavioural, health or otherwise... and they're truly there for you when you're experiencing an emotional time. In fact, they're there to keep you grounded each and every day. They give people purpose; a reason to laugh and smile. Animals are truly better than most human beings. They don't attach any conditions to their relationship with you. They love you deeply. And you form connections with each different animal on such a different level.
Albie... he was my boy. He loved me with every inch of his being. He chose me when I wasn't even looking to add a fur baby to my family. He was one of my children before having children. I was a teacher at the time and I'd taken a group of students on an excursion to the Lost Dogs' Home. They'd spent a term crocheting blankets for the animals and learning about what happens at the Lost Dogs' Home. The last step was for them to hand over their creations and be shown around the place. They allow the kids one pup to play with and meet as a part of the excursion and he was the one they wanted out. He was very cute and so, I moved away knowing he would be easy to fall in love with. Unfortunately, Albie had other plans. He by-passed everyone waiting to give him some love and attention and came straight over to me. It was love at first sight and I felt like he was telling me he wanted to come home with me. I popped him on hold and picked him up the next day. My life wasn't the same from that point on. He was the glue that bound together our dog family - we had two dogs at the time. My husband and I each brought a dog into our marriage and they weren't the best of friends... but Albie really helped that whole situation. He was my little shadow. He was just a 5 or 6 month old pup at the time when I adopted him. He bit so much, he hated being groomed... he yapped non-stop... and he wasn't the biggest fan of my husband! However, on top of all that, he loved me so much. If we left him behind to have a weekend away, he would be so excited to see me when I got home. And, he did eventually come around to my husband, making their relationship all the more special too.
When he turned 6, things started to go pear-shaped with his health. He developed epilepsy. He went on medication to control it. As time passed he needed more medication and in his final year he developed several other ailments which meant I stopped a lot of my life to ensure that I was home with him to care for him and make sure he was ok. When you have an old dog, you can never let them sleep in peace... you're always checking for signs of life...breathing a huge sigh of relief when you see the rise and fall of their breath, or their head pop up when you call their name.
He spent his elderly life asleep on the couch, or sitting watching me cook in the kitchen... or waiting for a little treat to be passed his way from beside my seat at the dining table. He was always there and he was always on my mind. I worried constantly knowing his days were numbered and how I would do life without him by my side.
He did things that were super special in his last year. He would crawl into my lap for some extended cuddles - he was never too much of a lap dog... He would put his paw on my laptop while I edited photos so that I would stop and give my attention to him instead. He was so well-behaved for all his grooms with me once I took over the role instead of paying a groomer so I could take my time with him knowing he hated being groomed. If I was ever sad... he was right there. His big, glossy eyes saw right into my soul.
Saying goodbye to him on his last day was the hardest thing ever. He passed away in his sleep, but we knew his time was close. We hoped for more time... but knew that wasn't realistic. We took photos together. He stared at his last sunset - he'd always been a sun-loving pooch. He came inside. He ate all his meals that day. But something felt different. It felt like it was the last of everything. He felt slower. I told him, as silly as it may sound, that he could go. He'd fought a good fight. He was tired. I thanked him for everything. We told him we loved him. He slept by my bed and by morning he was gone. And along with that... he took a part of my heart forever. One month on, it's still hard for me to revisit all these feelings. I look to all the places he was wishing to see him there. Sometimes I think I've caught a glimpse of him from the corner of my eye and turn to realise it was nothing and remember all over again that he's gone. I know in time it will get easier, but in the meantime, I will cry when I miss him, because he really was the best boy who came into my life when I wasn't looking and he gave me 11.5 years of amazing companionship. No words can ever really explain the depth of the connection we had and how a part of my life will never heal from the emptiness his loss has created. Every pet we have lost has left a small hole in our hearts and whilst time makes it easier to move forward, you never forget the impact that they have left in our lives.
These losses are the driving reason behind why I offer Pet Memorial Photography. When our fur family members are gone, at least we can look back on their sweet faces and remember their loyalty and love. If you need this service, please click the link and get in touch.
